What a relief to take to the field again having had to postpone the Winscombe game last week, it is great to catch up with this clash which was postponed earlier in the season. With the amount of rain we are experiencing it is starting to affect the evolution process with some of the players developing web feet. No sorry I understand that it’s just me and Larkin, still we all came from the sea, just more recently in my case.
Before we get in to the detail of the game I should mention that our thoughts are with the much loved and highly regarded United Coach Bert “Darts Twist” Hedges. Bert I am happy to say is recovering well at home following his recent operation and although couldn’t be with us on Saturday was bitterly disappointed to be at home watching the international. Bert I know wanted me to mention that the operation went with out hitch and all 22 gall stones were removed. Whilst under anaesthetic surgeons took full advantage giving him a shave and his teeth a good brush, although they were not brave enough to give his backside a wipe.
In true Bert fashion he was not in the least bit nervous ahead of this operation having gone under the knife on several pervious occasions when his, self control, tact and empathy were removed. Fortunately his coaching skills remain as these once located were considered small and underdeveloped. As a final added bonus the stones were polished to make a full set of snooker balls and Bert is hoping for a half sized table for Christmas.
In recent weeks I feel there has been some criticism levelled towards these write ups and I offer my apologies for any offence that I may have caused in terms of language or the whole accurate accounts that I pick up. I will do my best going forward however, if you are offended in the future, be offended…….. You won’t have any broken bones and you will still get up in the morning and Weston will play rugby again.
This week’s pre-match preparation has been far from ideal with the continuing poor weather causing havoc with numbers at training. It was great to see Phil Hobbs arrive as planned at the club this weekend following his misfortune a few weeks ago. But as one door opens another closes as Steve Donegan failed to realise his selection. The mumbling Irish prop doubled booked himself Saturday afternoon to provide an informative but ultimately boring and useless talk to The Worlebury Bell Ringers and Uphill Campanology Society on the care of your Shillelagh, the ancient Irish marshal art.
With me drafted on to the bench could things look any better or get worse? Yes is the answer, as moments before the game my tried and tested technique of whacking any player that comes near my tackle shield resulted in baby crowned Tom Main becoming concussed and growing a very fetching “Looney Tunes” lump in the thatch of is soft as butter swede. Still, sore bones Liv did not realise he could not walk straight and he took to the field to be sub by returning Morrissey and enjoy an early shower and vomiting session. Okay, the cake is on me Tuesday fellas.
Saturday was set to be a fantastic opportunity to see how the United have developed as a team with the clash with Norton currently second in the table against our fourth position. As the teams took the field neither was up to disappoint with Norton fired up and well drilled.
The United started well however any territory they won Norton hit back to stake their claim. The first twenty minutes of the game was scoreless as both teams engaged with each other in equal measure. My thoughts wandered at this stage and I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those parents, players, members and friends of the club who attended the U12’s and U15’s race night last Friday. We did raise a fantastic £1200 ish for the lads and had a great time. Top men Phil Durston, Rich Hynes and Derek Hannam all need a mention.
The dead lock was to be broken with a final drive by the United forwards and a try for Steele. Blizzard usually so note worthy with the boot clearly was wearing his Mum’s high heels this week as the extras failed to be collected.

Norton hit back immediately and it seemed the United had relaxed. With a similar phase of play United were on the back foot and Norton look set to return the favour. Great defence from the forwards prevailed, which was to be the big constant for the game and the pressure was diverted with Disney shovelling on a poor Morrissey pass (now on for huuuuuwwweey Main) to skipper Sprague to tear the length of the pitch and finish under the post. Well done Blizzard we are now 12 – 0 to the good.
Morrissey was well into his stride breaking from the base of the scrum and proving to be the usual handful that we have come to expect this season between bouts of injury. The forwards were to again provide the next entertainment although it is worth adding that in this second quarter Eaton was insisting on high slappy tackles and Somers couldn’t catch a cold in the loose. With chances going begging our own Kung Fu Panda, Hudson, pulled out a move and went over at short range.
Marco Oupoh starting a full back, but isn’t he a wing, no a centre, well he is French so probably has a problem making up his mind, was to remember what we were doing and offering great supporting play received the ball on the wing (there I said he was a winger) to ride 3 tackles and cross the whitewash in an excellent show. Now as good as this passage of play was the next from Oupoh was equally as poor. Walloped in the middle of the pitch by a Norton player with the full weight of a feather behind him, Oupoh was down quicker than French sailors, lorry drivers, students, civil servants, the French nation can go on strike…you get the picture. Little wonder that moments later, penalty awarded, a fully recovered Oupoh was stamped on….I am guessing, as he would not stop rolling around, in an episode which would not be out of place in a soccer match. Fletcher on, Marco off and by the way you are also baking a cake for Tuesday.
The half ended with a further fine passage of play and Watkins starved of ball took his chance to break through two tacklers and finish the half 29 – 0.
Norton were far from finished and heads were held high into the second half. In fairness the Norton scrum was working well and the United very much had to dig in hard and defend. Norton were first to score with pressure resulting in a kickable penalty, their only points for the game, which is unlucky as it did not represent what this well drilled side had to offer. The penalty received when vertically challenged Waterman wandered on to the middle of a pitch with a step ladder and standing aloft was near enough to get round the neck of the Norton centre.
I am happy to report that by this time Eaton’s tackling had improved as had Somers hands and Blizzard was starting to look like he might knock over a few conversions. Here was the problem though we did not look like we could score, roll back Stothert & Pitt second half. Now something needed to be done and I was not going to mention it but as so many of you commented, quiet correctly, and impact player was need, yes me. On for Hudson, twisted toe, the team quickly moved from defensive scrums to Withers crossing the line, well done Blizzard. My work here is done and with a straightened toe Hudson was back on.
No sooner had I come off and you fellas revert to form, back on again for Price, yes I know a dodgy scrum against the head, but in my defence I was having my man bits pushed back inside by Hudson at the time and did you see that hairy bloke on the field, where did he come from?. Still very soon an attacking scrum, 5m out, clean strike from Withers, no oversized booted boiler kicking it back and Morrissey in for a beauty, I thank you.
Final score 43 – 3, on the first cold day of the season.
I would just like to end this report with a special thank you to our sore bones team who have provided us this season with a defibrillator. It is medical kit of this nature that gives older players like me the confidence to keep playing whilst maintaining our arduous eating and drinking campaigns. So far this season this hi tech pieces of kit has proved invaluable holding changing room doors open at home and away, proved inadequate as a tea tray, jump started Filer’s car and remains a source of constant amusement to Price who enjoys licking the pads, who is going to turn it on?

I am left with a final thought that things do not change forwards are forwards, strong and manly and backs are girls as borne out by the final conversation I witnessed of the day. As I finally left the shower wondering if it is worth doing again next week, and it is, Waterman and Watkins dressed and well groomed were sat in the changing room swapping notes on diet tips and exercise regimes for toning. I felt sick

Players
D Price, C Withers (1 Try), P Hobbs, S Hudson (1 Try), Harry Somers, D Steele (1 Try), S Eaton, T Main, S Disney, C Young, P Sprague(C) (1 Try), L Blizzard (4 Cons), S Waterman, M Watkins (1 Try), M Oupoh (1 Try)
Replacements Used
M Matthews, C Fletcher, P Morrissey (1 Try)

Match report by Mark Matthews and photos HERE courtesy of Andrew Collins